Our first few days and weeks together for Christmas were fantastic. It was fun, loving, happy and carefree. Unfortunately, a big winter storm blew in and forced him to return to base early. Over the past 7 months we have done our best to talk every day, share laughs and plan small visits. I went for his birthday at the end of January and did not see him again until the end of April. I flew to him after my semester was over and spent time there. We took our engagement pictures, set a date and began the adventure of planning a wedding.
There was a surprise visit for one day in June. I was at my friend's house in Pennsylvania. If we both drove to a halfway mark, we could stay in Clinton, NJ for one night. My friends and I piled in my car and went on a small road trip. Even a tiny quick visit like that was perfection. The last time I saw him was last weekend, with his parents. It wasn't the most pleasant weekend for my grandma had died the week before, I drove to Dallas from Ohio to see her before she passed and was too late. But now I have my flight booked and I am going to go 'pick him up' after his Graduation from Submarine School and drive back to Ohio with him.
Over the course of these 12 months, I have learned a vast amount of things about life, happiness, faith and love. For those of you who think a military love is romantic, adventurous and cute... It is, but do not underestimate the hardships you will have with that. It is not always romantic and is only cute if you are lucky enough to snap a picture of you together to hold on to for the next 2 months of distance. The distance is workable. You can drive. You can fly. You can take a train. But the problem is among other things. If he has a 3 day weekend, he is on duty. If you have the time, you don't have the money. But if you scrimp and save, the time you spend together is well worth anything money could buy.
Over the past 12 months I have learned that there will be temptation. You will be sad, lonely, and craving hugs. Anyone will try to get to you. They do not care if you are dating someone, if you are engaged, or if you are married. Men will be forward with you and try to take you from your sailor. It is a sad truth and it is hard. Why would you wait around for someone you see every 3 months for 2 days when you could have this perfectly handsome man every day? You wait because it is true love. You know where you heart is and it is not in the bar, the club or the park. Your heart is somewhere out at sea with a man who is as sad and lonely as you are. I am not trying to say men will swarm you, but in the course of a year, there have been a handful. Its frustrating and you have to remain calm to tell them no.
Over the past 12 months I have learned patience. I have the patience to not hear from him for a day or two and how that he loves me still. He hasn't texted yet, not because he is mad at me, or because he has forgotten me. He hasn't texted me because he is working. In today's society people go crazy if they have not gotten a text from their other half for 15 minutes. Patience is a virtue. I have gained patience that I thought I was never capable of. In the military, you have to be ready for an unexpected departure. He has to leave a day early? OK, so be it. I have watched women sob because they haven't see their honey in a week and he has to come home a day later than usual. Get over it, at least he is coming home! It is difficult, but you cannot whine and complain. He doesn't want to leave you anymore than you want him to. But he has a job, a duty and that is his life. It is your life now too.
Over the past 12 months I have learned that shit will happen. You will have terrible things happen to you in your life. You have to overcome these things. Not only for your spouse, but for yourself. You need to be happy. So your parents moved 1200 miles from the home you grew up in, so your grandmother passed away at 80, so your brother is mad at you, so your apartment is haunted, or so your best friend has turned their back on you. You may feel alone. You will feel alone because even though we have friends and other family around us, he is not always there. He will not be able to be there with you and hold your hand while you stand at your grandmothers funeral. He may not be there for you when you cower in your room wishing he was there to hold you. But you will always find a way of surviving. And let me tell you the best advice I have for you when you are low. You do not turn to your friends, to the bottle, to your parents, to temporary happiness. You turn the pages of your bible and cling to God. He will carry you when you are weak, and he will love you when you are lonely. He will sit with you when you just want someone to sit with. All you have to do is ask. Your life is only as terrible as you let it be. You cannot depend on your significant other to always carry you, to hold you, or to sit with you. He will when he can, but you should always have God in your heart to help you heal.
Over the past 12 months I have learned about trust. I have learn that you should not trust on a whim. In Mexico for spring break, I never would have thought that a maid would really steal my engagement ring but while I was rock climbing by the ocean, she did and it is gone. A friend of a friend cannot be dangerous, I thought. I thought wrong. Boys are boys and will always try. It is a complicated thing, being friends with boys. I do not believe you can truly be friends with them without someone having some sort of feelings. So now I have decided to not even bother and you will realize that you do not need them. Why would you? You have your love, your Lord, your father, your brothers, your uncles. Those are the only men you should truly have in your life.
Over the past year I have learned so much about life. The past year has taught me much and it is only the beginning of it. I was ready for a romantic love story of a sailor and his gypsy wife, but it turns out, it isn't always peaches and cream yall! You still have to work for your happiness. You can't expect someone to hand it to you.
Hold on tight, Jozi because we are moving to Georgia and starting true deployments on some of the finest machines the world has ever seen. Welcome to the life of the US Navy. Be strong. Be courageous. Be Happy. and Be a Badass Everyday.
